Coping with Loss

Give Yourself Time, Patience and Grace

Grief is a natural response to losing someone who mattered to you. It can affect your emotions, thoughts, routines, relationships and even the way your body feels. Some days may bring intense sadness, while others may feel quiet, confusing or unexpectedly ordinary.

There is no correct timetable for grief and no single way you are supposed to experience it. Your relationship with the person who died was unique, and your response to the loss will be personal as well.

Grief May Take Many Forms

People often think of grief as sadness, but it may include many different reactions. You may experience:

• Sadness or loneliness
• Anger or frustration
• Guilt or regret
• Relief after a long illness
• Difficulty concentrating
• Changes in sleep or appetite
• Fatigue or restlessness
• A desire to talk about the person
• A need for privacy or quiet
• Moments of happiness followed by renewed sadness

These feelings may come and go rather than following an orderly series of stages. An anniversary, song, place or ordinary daily moment may bring memories back unexpectedly.

Try not to judge yourself for grieving differently than someone else. Members of the same family can experience the same loss in very different ways.

Caring for Yourself While Grieving

Grief can make basic routines more difficult. During this time, focus on small and manageable ways to care for yourself.

You may find it helpful to:

• Maintain simple routines when possible
• Eat regularly and stay hydrated
• Rest when your body needs it
• Spend time outdoors or take gentle walks
• Accept practical help from people you trust
• Write down thoughts or memories
• Participate in meaningful traditions
• Talk with someone who listens without judgment
• Give yourself permission to decline unnecessary obligations

Healing does not mean forgetting the person who died or leaving them behind. Over time, many people find ways to carry their memories forward while gradually adjusting to life after the loss.

Supporting Children Through Grief

Children often move in and out of grief. They may ask direct questions, repeat the same questions or return quickly to play after an emotional moment. These reactions do not mean they are unaffected.

Use clear, honest and age-appropriate language. Avoid phrases such as “went to sleep,” which may create confusion or fear. Let children know that they did not cause the death and that trusted adults will continue to care for them.

Give them opportunities to participate without pressure. A child might:

• Draw a picture or write a letter
• Select a photograph
• Share a favorite memory
• Help choose a song
• Place a meaningful item in a memory display
• Attend part or all of the service

Continue checking in after the funeral. Children may develop new questions as their understanding of death changes.

Helping Someone Who Is Grieving

You do not need perfect words to support someone following a loss. Listening, remembering and continuing to be present can be more valuable than offering advice.

Helpful support may include:

• Acknowledging the loss directly
• Listening without trying to solve the person’s grief
• Sharing a kind memory
• Offering specific practical help
• Continuing to check in after the first few weeks
• Remembering meaningful dates
• Allowing the person to talk about their loved one
• Respecting their need for privacy or time

Avoid comparing their loss with someone else’s experience or suggesting that they should be “moving on.” Grief does not operate according to an outside schedule.

Finding Meaningful Ways to Remember

Remembering can become an important part of living with loss. Some people find comfort in creating traditions or finding ongoing ways to honor the person who died.

You might:

• Gather photographs or write down family stories
• Prepare a favorite meal
• Visit a meaningful place
• Make a donation or volunteer for an important cause
• Plant a tree or create a garden
• Display a treasured item
• Mark birthdays or anniversaries in a personal way
• Continue a tradition the person valued

Choose what feels comforting and authentic to you. There is no requirement to remember in a particular way.

When Additional Support May Help

Family, friends and faith communities can provide valuable support, but there may be times when you need additional help. Consider speaking with a qualified counselor, grief support professional, healthcare provider or support group if grief is making it difficult to manage daily responsibilities or if you are concerned about your emotional or physical well-being.

Seeking support is not a sign that you are grieving incorrectly. It is one way of caring for yourself during a difficult time.